Anger Management Online: Top Ten Anger Control Tips.
1. Know your anger triggers. Ask: What – Where – Who – When - your Anger is happening.
2. Listen to your bodies signals of increasing anger. Common signs of rising anger:
- Increased heart rate, you may feel like your heart is pounding
- Tense muscles, clenched jaw, clenched hands, headaches and tense shoulders if prolonged
- Feeling restless, agitated, there is a need to move and to pace around
- Racing mind, thoughts are narrowed, focused on the percieved cause of anger
- As anger increases you may feel the urge to hit or push someone or something
- Voice is raised, yells over the top of others, abusive talk with lots of “YOU…!” statements
3. Take responsibility for your own behavior. Make a decision to change and get the help you need. You can choose to change your behavior. No one else is responsible for your anger problem.
4. Decide that you will remove yourself from risky situations. If you feel your anger increasing and do not feel you can manage it then choose to leave the situation BEFORE you hurt yourself and others (physically, emotionally or verbally).
5. Exercise daily. Exercise is a critical part of managing anger. Exercise every day for at least 20 minutes. Exercise when you feel anger rising get moving! Walk the dog, run an errand. Just get moving. Dig up a garden bed, mop floors even run up a few flights of stairs. Write a list of short active tasks you can do at home and at work when you feel angry.
6. Relax. Learn some relaxation skills. Try audio tapes, classes, yoga, tai chi, or meditation. You will find some good anger management soundtracks and DVDs. Do things that bring you pleasure, maybe golf, fishing, sport, or hobbies. You may have become more isolated because of your anger. Start enjoying yourself as you recover.
7. Breathe. As anger increases your breathing changes. Learn abdominal breathing techniques. Practice them twice a day, every day when you are not angry or anxious. You cannot learn a new skill in the middle of an angry or anxious episode. (A common reason that people think breathing exercises ‘don’t work’!. )
8. Stop looking outside yourself for the cause of your anger. Let go of the blame game. The only person you can change is yourself. Start small and don’t try and change everything at once. Aim for progress, not perfection.
9. Start Now! You do not need to spend years on the therapists couch before you improve. Imagine for a moment that you did not have an anger problem. What would you do differently for the rest of the day? What change can you make right now, as soon as you finish reading this page? Just start where you are with what you’ve got and do the best you can with it.
10. Pay attention to what you are thinking. Anger causes narrowed distorted thinking. Generally that if only other people would stop being so difficult, or if life would give you a break you would be fine. Start noticing what you think. Thinking can feel automatic, but as you become more aware of your thoughts you can learn to change them. Get rid of stinking thinking!
And one last but not least anger control tip:.
Stop thinking of yourself as an angry person. You were not born angry. You are not angry 24 hours a day. You are more than your behavior. If you think of yourself as an angry person you will act like an angry person.
Most people who have anger control problems just haven’t learned the skills to recognize and manage their feelings appropriately. Many have underlying anxiety and low self confidence. The good news is that anger control skills can be learned, just as you learn any other skill. By learning the right methods that get results; practicing what you learn and not giving up when you make mistakes.
You can learn these skills in a group therapy sessions, individual counseling or anger management online programs. The online programs are much less expensive than therapy, private and can be completed in your own time. Some are accepted by courts. For a very well designed online anger program that meets court requirements click here. They also have course for teens, parents and more.